| | For some reason, I've been itching to go watch an exciting movie lately. Watching Letter from Iwo Jima doesn't really get the blood pumping. I don't think I've been more depressed after any other war movies, and I've watched my share. I'm excited about 300 though, hopefully they don't screw that up. The comic was awesome as usual for any work by Frank Miller, and the previews certainly looks as ridiculous and flamboyant as the graphic novel.
However, I am NOT excited about the new Tranformers movie. As much as I love Transformers (and Beast Wars, for that matter), I cannot foresee any sensible plot with the movie being directed by Hollywood resident dumbass Michael Bay. All of us know that any movie direct by Michael Bay consists of: following the script for about 3 pages, then as there are enough objects and characters introduced for him to blow up, everything blows to pieces. He literally uses millions of dollars to construct things so he can blow them up and capture the moments on film.
You can make your own Michael Bay movie in 3 simple steps:
1) Cut a hole in the Box
2) Put your junk in that Box
3) The Box blows up
Now I know what you die-hard fans are thinking: Michael Bay directed The Rock, only one of the manliest movies ever. But that's because The Rock's script played exactly into Bay's pyro nature. Other notable Bay movies include: Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Bad Boys, and Bad Boys II. Now, Bay is ready to ruin a great childhood memory for all of us who grew up watching Transformers. Just watching the previews made me depressed: Optimus looks like a gay robot and Megatron just looks disgusting. I predict there will be robot humping, and then shit blows up in the background.
In conclusion, Michael Bay is a disgrace to all Michaels. We're a proud group: Jackson, Jordan, Bolton, Bluth, Scott, Cera... And we disown Bay.
"What do you expect Mother? I'm half machine. I'M A MONSTER!!!!"
-Buster Bluth
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| | Posted 2/21/2007 2:17 PM - 56 Views - 4 eProps - 3 comments
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