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| 13 Years...I still remember the last time Warriors made the playoffs. It was my first year in the US, I barely knew any English, but my brother and I knew all about the Warriors. Chris Mullin, Latrell Spreewell, Chris Webber, Chris Gatling, Billy Owens, Avery Johnson, etc. (damn there sure were a lot of Chris' on that team). We watched as the Warriors compiled a 50-32 record playing Nellie Ball and then proceeded to get destroyed by Charles Barkley, Kevin Johnson (go Cal!), Thunder Dan, and the Phoenix Suns.
Even though we were swept out of the playoffs in the first round, things were looking bright for the future. If we could keep these same players the next year, with Tim Hardaway coming back from injury, we would only get better right? WRONG!! You see, Don Nelson had a problem with C-Web. He didn't like C-Web's 'tude, or his lazy demeanor or just his name, I don't fucking know. But Webber, our supposed franchise player (who we traded for on draft day for Penny Hardaway and 3!!! future first round draft picks), was promptly traded after one season to the Washington Bullets for.....Tom Gugliotta (then after 40 games, we traded Gugliotta to the T-Wolves for Donyell Marshall, so basically, we traded Webber for Marshall). And thus began the downfall of the Warriors.
In those 13 horrendous years, we had such gem seasons as: 19-63 season in 1999-2000, with a frontcourt rotation of Jason Caffey, Donyell Marshall, and Adonal Foyle; 17-65 season in 2000-2001, with a backcourt rotations of Mookie Blaylock and Vonteego Cummings. And most recently, the "bunch of overpaid white guys" era with Mike Dunleavy and Troy Murphy.
But finally, all that suffering came to an end this Wednesday, when the Warriors annihilated the Portland Trailblazers to clinch the number 8 seed in the playoffs. Our first playoff spot since that lone season with Chris Webber. It's been a long and arduous road, but we're back. I only hope we don't get swept this time around and blow up the entire team next season. I believe!!! GO WARRIORS!!!
GSW HOOPS FOR LIFE!
Dream scenario: Warriors in 7.
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| Cornballing piece of sh*tNever, ever, ever, ever, EVER do the University Chicken 911 Challenge. You're just asking for a world of pain. I don't think I can emphasize this enough. For those of you who don't know this challenge, here are the basics: eat 12 wings in 10 minutes. Sounds simple enough right? Well, there are a couple of additional rules: no napkins, no water, and you have to wait an additional 5 minutes after you finish eating to drink any water or ingest anything. Oh yeah, also, these wings are spicy to the XXXtreme. And I mean REALLY spicy. Words cannot describe it. So that's the challenge, now why am I writing about this?
So I recently lost a bet at bowling and the bet was loser had to "attempt" the aforementioned challenge. Now at first I didn't think much of it, as the only thing I've heard about this challenge was that you had to sign a waiver. I thought it was pretty ludicrous to have to sign a waiver to eat some chicken wings, so it seemed like no big deal. But the more people I talked to, the more warnings I got about needing to be prepared so I don't have to get my stomach pumped or have my ass blow up in a huge spicy flaming mess. So Friday afternoon, I went to get some yogurt (Liz's advice) and Maalox (Bobby's advice). I figured if I fortified my stomach with such products, I should be able to make it out alive...right? My goal was to eat 4 wings. 4 out of 12. Seems reasonable. I was well prepared, I felt like I can take my share of regular spicy foods and still survive, so 4 super spicy wings should be no problem...
So we arrived at the restaurant, Wang and I were the losers so we HAD to do it. Jeff was being a good sport and he wanted to try it out as well. So the three of us signed our waivers and waited for the chicken. I got mine first, and let me tell you, it looked like a huge pile of SHIT. Literally, a pile. The sauce was so thick and brown, you can't even tell there are wings in there. Just looking at the pile made me a bit nauseated. As I sat waiting for the others to get their share, people started to pay attention to the goings ons and asked a lot of questions. Most of them were just curious why I'm doing such a thing to myself, to which I had to explain the whole bet thing. Anyways, when Jeff and Wang got theirs, we were off.
Wang was the first to go down, he took one bite, and started hacking up a lung. I didn't let that distract me, as I need to concentrate to down the thing instead of paying attention to how Wang was dying. Jeff was the next to go, but he had eaten faster than me, I was taking my time. When I reached to eat another one, I could feel my jaw cramping, tears rolling down my eyes, and I couldn't bite down. It was my body giving up. So how many did we all eat? Here are the casualties:
Wang - 1.5 bites
Me - 2 wings
Jeff - 2 wings (and then 15 minutes after we almost killed ourselves, he decides to eat another one for good measure, which was a terrible mistake, I don't know wtf he was thinking)
The other guys were good sports and they tried one as well. Steven and Kevin did it the manly way and ate it straight up (edit: I later found out that they wiped some sauce off as well, but it didn't really matter). Mok tried wiping off most of the sauce and still, he died after he ate it. The best moment of the night was this one guy who was talking to me before about the challenge. As he was leaving he saw us finish, and he was really curious. We had a bunch of wings left and offered one to him. He took about 2 bites, then proceeded to run to the Safeway next to the restaurant to get milk. Now I was already at the Safeway getting milk (the restaurant manager told me milk helped) and there was a long line. As he was waiting in line, he started drinking the milk and in between gulps, he was just shaking his head. His friends were concerned/laughing at him as they waited with him. He finally finishes the entire carton of milk and said one sentence "Where is the bathroom?" He threw the carton at his friend, who paid for it, and ran out of the Safeway looking for a bathroom, presumably to wash his tongue. The whole ordeal was really funny to watch, although I felt bad for the guy because he had no idea what he was getting into.
I had bowel problems that night and didn't get much sleep, but I'll spare the details. The moral of the story? I need to get better at bowling so I don't lose to Mok and his stupid bets.
Michael: Why does everybody think I'm scared of girls?
George Sr.: Because you're chicken. You're a chicken. Coo Coo Ca Chaaaaaa, Coo Coo Ca Chaaaaaa.
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| If you ain't first, you're last.Talking to Judy about Talledega Nights got me to thinking about my favorite Will Ferrell movies, as well as Vince Vaughn, since those two can't seem to do any wrong right now. So I present to you my two lists.
Here's my list of best Will Ferrell roles/cameos:
1. Ron Burgandy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
2. Frank Ricard aka Frank the Tank in Old School
3. Buddy the Elf in Elf
4. Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers
5. Mugatu in Zoolander
6. Big Earl in Starsky & Hutch
7. Ricky Bobby in Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
8. The Man in the Yellow Hat in Curious George
9. Mustafa in Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me
10. Steve Butabi in A Night at the Roxbury
Also, here's my list of best Vince Vaughn roles/cameos:
1. Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers
2. Trent Walker in Swingers
3. Bernard "Beanie" Campbell in Old School
4. Wes Mantooth in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
5. Reese Feldman in Starsky & Hutch
Aside: I think "Grey's Anatomy" should have instead been a show about Jeremy Grey's exploits as an ER Crasher. He'll attempt to save coma patients whilst hitting on said patients' foxy looking girlfriends. We'll get Vince Vaughn trash talking the other doctors to tears and driving the rest of the hospital staff insane. I'd totally watch THAT "Grey's Anatomy." As for the current show? Please refer to Bobby's Blog for an appropriate rant.
Michael (to Lucille): Mom, I'm...I'm right in the middle of something.
Michael (to GOB): Get rid of the seaward.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
*silence*
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| Mother! I can blow myself!For some reason, I've been itching to go watch an exciting movie lately. Watching Letter from Iwo Jima doesn't really get the blood pumping. I don't think I've been more depressed after any other war movies, and I've watched my share. I'm excited about 300 though, hopefully they don't screw that up. The comic was awesome as usual for any work by Frank Miller, and the previews certainly looks as ridiculous and flamboyant as the graphic novel.
However, I am NOT excited about the new Tranformers movie. As much as I love Transformers (and Beast Wars, for that matter), I cannot foresee any sensible plot with the movie being directed by Hollywood resident dumbass Michael Bay. All of us know that any movie direct by Michael Bay consists of: following the script for about 3 pages, then as there are enough objects and characters introduced for him to blow up, everything blows to pieces. He literally uses millions of dollars to construct things so he can blow them up and capture the moments on film.
You can make your own Michael Bay movie in 3 simple steps:
1) Cut a hole in the Box
2) Put your junk in that Box
3) The Box blows up
Now I know what you die-hard fans are thinking: Michael Bay directed The Rock, only one of the manliest movies ever. But that's because The Rock's script played exactly into Bay's pyro nature. Other notable Bay movies include: Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Bad Boys, and Bad Boys II. Now, Bay is ready to ruin a great childhood memory for all of us who grew up watching Transformers. Just watching the previews made me depressed: Optimus looks like a gay robot and Megatron just looks disgusting. I predict there will be robot humping, and then shit blows up in the background.
In conclusion, Michael Bay is a disgrace to all Michaels. We're a proud group: Jackson, Jordan, Bolton, Bluth, Scott, Cera... And we disown Bay.
"What do you expect Mother? I'm half machine. I'M A MONSTER!!!!"
-Buster Bluth
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| Love, Indubitably?VGCats has some game-themed V-day cards, here's one:
Happy <3-day everyone!
I also just found out recently that today is also National Condom Day. In 4 years of college, I've never encountered the day where they handed out free condoms in front of Sproul Hall. Not that I would have any use for them, but I could at least give them out to other people as gifts. Supposedly they hand out other SWAG (stuff we all get) as well, such as lubricant and low budget sex toys for practice. So for those of you who are still at school, go hunt down some SWAG. You never know when that free protection is going to come in handy.
"Well Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime."
-Tobias Funke
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